5 Reasons Why...

I used to wonder if it was just me who struggled with being a working mother. I wondered if I'd ever have the time to actually write the books I wanted to write. Then I realised that I'm not the only working mom on the planet. I'm not the only working mom who writes books.

So then I wondered how the hell I'd be able to juggle it all. Three kids, two jobs, a house to keep in order, MS, and I wanted to write books?

I'd lost my mind!

Surely?

Not at all. But I'll admit that when my kids were small, there was no way I could juggle it all. I tried, really hard, in fact. But the fact was that I just had too much on my hands. Now they've grown a little it's easier. See I have insomnia - or just a hyperactive child? Either way, it means I have more time to write the stories I want to write.

My little boy once asked me what I would wish for if I had one wish. "Would you wish to be able to hear, mommy?"

"No," I replied.

"Do you wish that I could not have autism?"

Again, I told him, "No. I love you just the way you are. You're perfect." To which he smiled wide and asked me what I would wish for then. So I told him, "I wish I could type as fast as I can think these stories up. If I could I'd write two books a day!"

He laughed hard and asked my why I wouldn't wish to not be ill, to be able to hear, to be a millionaire. Those wishes are easy. I can deal with my illness, I'm used to being deaf, and money is good but it won't make you happy.

Which brings me to my next point. Bullying. Kids can be cruel and say mean things when they on't understand something, my little boy has been through this more than once. I believe if parents explained things to their children they'd understand why it's inappropriate to say such horrible things like, "Retard" and "Dummy" to a child like me, a child with autism. I believe it's the parents place to make their child see that other kids might be a little different on the outside and sometimes on the inside. If a parent can't do this then who is meant to? Teachers?

Of course, as a teacher, I make sure the kids in my care understand how very wrong it is to make someone else feel less than. But I've had one or two who think it's okay to say things to hurt others, I've had their parents tell me, "So what? If you bring retards into a classroom with normal kids, what do you expect?" For a parent to say this in front of their child, teaching that child that it's okay to bully those who are different is beyond anything I could imagine.

So how do you teach a child that bullying is wrong?

Me personally, I put the bully with the child they find so different and have them talk, play, learn from each other. You'll be surprised how quickly the bully understands the other child, how quickly they become friends. It's just a shame adults can't be as easily turned.

Recently, I had a couple people sending me messages that were unnecessary. Messages that made me feel small. Messages pointing out my deafness, my illness, my writing. It shouldn't have gotten to me the way it did, but on the very same day, I'd just found out that I have ovarian cancer. So much was already going through my mind at that point. All I wanted was to crawl away and hide for the rest of my life, however long I have left of it. But the man I love made me see that I can't do that, that I need to be strong and show those bullies that they will never make me feel less than I am.

I'm a good person, I'm not a bully, I don't tolerate it. I'm a teacher and the first thing I tell the kids each morning is to be kind to each other, no matter what someone else says to you. Never stoop to their level. Words hurt but only as long as you allow them to.

The words sent to me did hurt me. No one wants to find out they have cancer only to be told to die because they're worthless and the world would be a better place without them. People who don't even know me, have never even seen what I look like had said those horrible things to me. They made me angry. They made me sad. But I chose not to allow those words to fester in my mind. Words of poison need to be expelled and blown away. Breathe deeply and smile.

I could have posted, tagged and shamed those people who were bullying me, but what good would that have done? It would have made me as bad as them, and I am not a bully. Report and block those who do these kinds of things. Sure, they might make other accounts and get right back to bullying people they don't even know and will never meet. And yes, some people aren't as strong and can't let the vile words go. And to those people, I would say, don't let those words fester in your mind and heart. Talk to someone, anyone. You have friends, you are not worthless, you are perfect just the way you are.

To those who cyberbully, I would say, think about what you're doing before you do it. It might be a game to you, it might make you feel big and strong, but would you do this face to face? Would you be that brave? Of course you wouldn't, you don't have the guts.

It's easy to spout out the mean words, even the evil ones. But it's better to show the world your kind heart. You'll find you get a sense of peace inside when someone thanks you for just being you.

So to the 5 reasons why:

1: Never let anyone make you feel less than the perfect person you are inside.

2: Never give up believing that you can be anyone in this life.

3: Be kind to each other, you never know when you might need a friend.

4: Never stoop to the level of others, you are more than that.

5: Talk to someone, anyone. Don't sit and think about the vile words thrown at you. Smile and let it go like water of a ducks back.

I would say this to those who know me, even those who don't, if you ever need to talk about anything at all, no matter what it might be, your dog is ill, you stubbed your toe, someone is bullying you, I am here for you.

Much love to you all always, Alivia XOXO